Testing, Testing

I have said a few times that Brian and I sway from heartbreak to logistics to hope and back, often many times in a day. Today we were in full logistics mode as we took Millie for 2 more tests that need to be completed. Like Santa, we have a checklist. We must have 5 tests done before we meet with our pediactric oncologist for or "chemotherapy briefing" next Wednesday. Today we crossed off 2 in one day- both rather intense for a 6 year old girl. The first test was a bone scan, for which Millie was injected with a radioactive substance. This is injected beforehand, then we had a 3 hour break to let the compound fill her body before the geiger-counter portrait is taken. After the first injection, during the break, we scheduled the CT Scan (which also required an IV of some compound that is inexplicable to me).

The nurse was hoping that the same IV that was used for the 1st injection could be reused for the 2nd- so she taped it down and left it in for the next test. Millie had to lie still on the gurney until it was time for the next test- over 40 minutes without moving her arm (as the nurse said it was very precariously positioned). So glad I had the Tinkerbell movie on my iPod!

Unfortunately, the IV wouldn't work for whatever connector the CT Scan required- so Millie had to have a 2nd IV put in to her other arm. Not good news, but she held up. She cried tears of frustration at the process, and the undending preparations that the CT Scan technicians were fuddling about, but when it came time to be perfectly still and endure the scan, she performed perfectly. I donned an Xray apron with handy thyroid cover and held her hands as she went into the machine. A loud, robotic voice would say "BREATHE IN, HOLD YOUR BREATH" then "BREATHE" as they scanned her chest. Pretty weird.

During the break, we took her to lunch and then to Toys R Us for a treat. She picked out a princess purse/jewelry thing (no surprise) and the game "Battleship" for Griffin. She always thinks of her brother. Even when in the pediactric oncology unit at Kaiser days earlier, when given a stuffed animal she asked for something for her brother too.

The second test was a bone scan. This is the geiger counter picture that is made of one's skeleton. This is amazing technology, folks! (Too bad for the radiation and all...) I watched the image like a hawk on the screen and clearly saw the tumor. I hesitantly say that i did not see any other irreglarities, but of course I am not a radiologist- and also did not have the view that they would have of the test.

I believe we'll find out tomorrow about the results. The big one is the CT Scan, as Ewings Sarcoma tends to metastisize first in the lungs.

Other upcoming tests are an EKG, Blood work, and a bone marrow sample (also super important, to tell if malignant cells are in her marrow). The first 2 we'll get done by Wednesday, and the bone marrow will be drawn when she is anesthesized for the placement of her broviac line.

Logistics and writing this blog keep me from succumbing to emotional darkness- as I step outside myself to become somewhat of a voyeur rather than a participant.

Millie was a superstar today. We pray and carry tremendous hope for good news tomorrow. News that this tumor has remained localized.

We are ever grateful and overwhelmed by the messages, calls, and posts of love and caring for our family and for Millie.