November Sun

This morning we once again hauled down to San Francisco Kaiser for an MRI under sedation for Millie. This time Annette accompanied us and made the day much easier. She and Millie snuggled in the back seat as I drove down the 101.

This was our 8th MRI at Kaiser, and it was still tough on us all. Millie struggled, cried, and fought on the gurney as the anesthesiologist and staff attempted to restrain her and hold the mask over her face. Oh, it just doesn't get easier. I could cry to the heavens how unfair it all is- but really, we are blessed. Many more mothers are watching their children undergo much more invasive procedures, and are hanging to hope in the face of terrible adversity. We just had today. (And every 3 months, oh and the physical therapy and brace, and the echo-cardiogram due in Nov, and the foot drop, and the bone scans and the CT scans, and the chest xray due next week). Still we are so very very fortunate.

Sometimes I look at her and think we cheated Death- that she would have been gone by now if the cancer was detected later, or if we didn't have access to the chemotherapy courses for Ewings Sarcoma. I worry that we're living on borrowed time, and that He'll come knocking.

But, I suppose every time we wear a seatbelt or take an antibiotic we cheat death! I have to keep that in perspective, and remain eternally grateful for human ingenuity and medical advances.

I just received the call from our nurse case worker- Millie is, once again, NED. No Evidence of recurring disease.