Nine Down

We were in the hospital last week for our short stay chemo (nine cycles down!). The three days felt like nine.

Millie could not be cheered up in the hospital- she refused to talk, to be examined, to participate in any way other than passively. I was able to briefly engage her with games of catch, or walks around the floor, but soon the darkness in her mood would set back and she would withdraw again. I have an image that stays in my mind of her little bare head on the hospital pillow and large tears bubbling around her eyes as she wailed that there "is nothing to do in the hospital except lie in bed".

She's watched countless movies over and over, has exhausted all the toys in the playroom (which seem to have been procured from a pre-school), and has filled hundreds of pages of drawings. There is no wi-fi in the hospital, so her attempts at online movie viewing, Webkinz, and online games are just frustrating for her with our cell-phone modem connection.

The doctor suggested a short run of anti-depressants. I suggested (at length and to several case workers and doctors) that we try to make the hospital less depressing! I have loads of ideas. From food to social opportunities to room and playroom setup. This is the only Kaiser hospital for hundreds of miles that treats pediatric cancer- but yet the pediatric floor is set up more for quick stays- tonsillitis, surgeries, broken bones, that sort of thing. There is no real infrastructure for kids who are there a lot. The food never changes, there are no special events, special visitors, internet, etc. We are most often housed with those quick stay folks who have no idea about chemotherapy.

But I digress! Sorry!

Millie is home now and doing pretty well. Her mood perked up a lot just seeing her daddy and brother. She is also swimming regularly at our friends' pool across the street. You wouldn't believe how happy she is in the water. A joy to behold! She giggles and dives and swims across the pool over and over. With her swim cap and goggles, she looks just like any other kid. The swimming is really helping her leg as well- she has built the muscles back around her knee and puts full weight on the leg. She still has dropfoot, but is managing well.